Neat freak

There’s a cost to being finicky, or as some would say “neat freak”. That’s exactly what I have become. And many times I pay the price. It pains me to see clutter. I cannot seem to ignore what’s around. That would be ideal, of course, to go about unruffled even when there is chaos and a total lack of order. But, it drains my energy, if I try to ignore it. I deal with it by quickly setting things right, by putting articles back in their place.

But, I realize everyday that it might not be the best way to deal with things. One has to learn to be neat, but I think one has to learn to manage disarray and mess. After all, things are not always under our control. We have no right to put things back in order at a friend’s house. What if hurricane tosses things around my house, I must make sure I don’t get a cardiac arrest before I have a chance to rebuild!

Recently, a kid visited my kid-less house. Things took a quick re-ordering to accommodate the child’s pranks. We don’t have toys around, except for a little stuffed dog called Kethu, a bear called Ballu, and a pair of tortoises called Tipu and Rocky. Anyone who has kids, know that these 4 toys are just enough to keep the child’s attention for roughly 1 minute and 20 seconds. It turns out I was wrong. There are many more toys in my house than I had imagined. Coasters and potatoes were rolling, baking dishes came out of the oven to see daylight for the first time in months, rolling pins, spoons, forks, bucket, stepping stool, the list is endless.

The kitchen had stuff all over the counter, tissue paper and newspaper, crayons, toys strewn all over the floor. The living room was like a battlefield. Kethu and Ballu lay injured, Kethu’s neck was arched backward in a position I haven’t seen before. There were peels of laughter and the fun had just begun. I spent as much time away in the least cluttered room. My energy was draining, I couldn’t stop what was going on and I couldn’t clean the mess. And I wondered why I have become so uptight that I cannot enjoy the bigger things, such as the joy on a child’s face? I remember the joy I had when I sat on the window sill in our 14^th floor apartment blowing bubbles outside the window, as I chased around my brother for the tricycle, the joy I experienced drumming empty Bournvita cans.

I wonder where that kid in me is. I have to learn to filter out the things that are not in my control, to adjust with status quo, to let thins be, and to find and enjoy the little things that are all around me. I realize I should try to turn things around to where I can ignore the external interruptions to my sanctity without trying too hard. Anything else is too costly for me.