I am what I am

Of late I have started discovering the beauty and freedom one gets from realizing their true self. Until a few years back I had this urge to excel in everything that I did. Obviously this is not humanly possible. One can be good at some things, not so good at some things and bad at some things. But somehow I did not get this for a long time. I would start learning something and expect to excel in it quickly. I would expect my teacher to say that I am her best student and be utterly disappointed when this did not happen. In short I thought I was a super prodigy. I am not sure if I am the only one who felt like this or if I belonged to an unspoken club.

As I started growing up this changed with addition of each year to my age. Once I got past my mid twenties I started seeing the realities in life. My dreams became more practical. The mysterious guy who comes riding in a horse became my husband, I started doing grocery purchase and learnt how to pick the best veggies from the bottom of the pile, I started paying bills and working for it. Suddenly there is no mystery or element of surprise in life. Instead of hoping for my parents to buy something magical I know what I earn and what it can get me.


Soon after One gets to this stage you star realizing that what others think about you is really not important. At least that is what happened to me. I guess this realization comes to different people at different times and depends upon several external forces acting on them. Whenever it does, this realization is liberating. It keeps your mind free and gets your thinking to flow. Now you start concentrating in what you are doing without worrying about the outcome and what others will think about the final product. Invariably you will start performing better. And if its not the best it is OK because you are what you are.