What the hell happened??

Manohar: Meera, I think this house is really not that good for us to go on bidding till we get it!!
Meera: But, think about it. Any home we get to see in a good school district as this is not going to be undersold meaning not get a bargain unless it's been in the market for several days as against the CMA predictions...
Manohar: yeahhh, but I still think we really shouldn't jump in, let's take a risk with this bidding thing.
Meera (finally answering after thinking it through): Okay (sigh)

This is one of the N conversations Manohar & I have had in the last few days on the subject of home buying. Things finished, we got to know through our realtor that this house was in contract and we decided to move on. Well-- infact Manohar did right away but not me. Being a person who doesn't really brood or regret decisions once taken, I was really angry to realize that I was still hung up on the same thing. After some introspection I found that I wasn't angry that we lost this house but moreso that I didn't try to put forward my point as much as I would have liked to. It infuriated me all the more when I thought back to that moment.

It's been 3 days now and I woke up with the same old feeling of forlornness looming in the horizon. Manohar believed that I would get over it in due course of time but still very surprised about me being so upset over something as trivial as this. I came into work, went in to meet my boss.

Boss: I am not sure whether you heard the news....
Me: head shaking vigorously to indicate 'no' and a shoulder shrug
Boss: You know Ms X...she had a stroke last night...and her eyes clouded over
Me: blinking, I sat down and looked at her. It just couldn't be. I had just met X last afternoon and she 'seemed' ok to me.
Boss: I am not able to concentrate on anything at all. I am thinking of all possibilities and can't seem to find one which will comfort me.

Here was my boss pouring out her heart saying what all she felt and I just sat there trying to digest what was being thrown at me. Oh! is she ok? were my first words
A few more exchanges on how and what had happened and X's condition now made me slowly filter out whatever my boss was saying.

Ms. X , a good friend and colleague of mine whom I have known for the last 1 year had just had a stroke, a capillary having bursted in her brain coupled with blocked arteries. The doctors were not able to administer blood thinners to her at the moment since it could affect her brain. She was strapped to a bed in the ICU and was still conscious, talking. Her only question everytime she woke up or saw a doctor come in was "Is my baby ok? I won't lose it, will I??"

I still remember her face when she told me Friday last that she was 6 weeks pregnant. I was so happy for her since I knew how much she had wanted a baby. And then this....

The impact of this news kind of jolted me out of the blue. A good friend in the ICU, having suffered a stroke and here I am brooding over a mere housebid. My eyes finally clouded over and I joined my boss by borrowing a kleenex.

Life and happenings has a weird way of putting things in perspective I guess.

X, wish I could see you walk out of your room and we can have our usual mundane chat over chocolates or something..

PEACE