Black Hole

As part of my physical existence in this virtual world forced me to think about what it means when we talk about memories....moments... I read somewhere out on the ether that things that you learn or undergo early on in life stays with you. I think it is absolutely true. As we grow, I think we weave strands on top of what is already construed as a dubious underlay, or rather use that as our foundation. Unwinding all those strands back is as if, we are trying to break our foundation. I dont know if that is possible. I dont know even if one should attempt such a thing.

The biggest problem with our unconscious mind is that, it is always original in its thinking and it is pure in terms of what it wants to do. Is it what people term as conscience? I always have a secondary shadow around me telling me about things that I ought to do. I mostly go against it, and later feel that, may be I shouldnt. Is the shadow my real self? Am I just trying to fool myself by not accepting the norms of my shadow-me? I've heard people saying that, one should follow their instincts. I keep wondering... Does brain apply its cumulative knowledge of ours to come up with a right way and yet, based on the physical contexts of environment comes up with another solution to the same problem? That doesnt make sense. How can there be a conscious and an unconscious based solution to the same problem out of a single brain. May be, its just the way it is designed. One knows that keeping their hand in fire would burn it. But yet, if you are in the middle of a group that you would want to impress, what do you do ? One could rationally argue that both solutions are okay from different perspectives of mind. Coming to think of it, most decisions of ours is just a reflection of how much one wants to overcome the preset ideals into venturing into new things that poses more curiosity, thus fulfilling their fantasy of the unknown. Isnt it always about the fantasy of the unknown that keeps our curiosity ticking. It is not the end result, it is just the means that we are interested in. If we stop following the path that fantasy sets in, may be the world will totally be a different place. I think we will probably be all animals if we dont have fantasies.

I sometimes wonder about the life that an animal passes by. It eats and sleeps and mates with all the possible opposite genders of its own group and eventually dies. Our life is a lot similar from a macroscopic view, except that, as part of our evolution, I think we inherited fantasy. That said, it is a vicious cycle, for we all fall victims to our own fantasy. Sometimes, though we realise that the fantasy is over, we still adhere to it, starting another fuzzy thread. We end up having nested fantasies to the umteenth degree. That keeps life all the more interesting and yet, meaningless. But, who really cares, for when you die, your thoughts in the context of your own self dies as well. If mind doesnt have a physical structure, and if it was really a shadow, wouldnt it continue to exist in ether. It could even keep ridiculing the various path that fantasy took you through. But then, isnt it always about the path rather than the end. No matter how long you travel, if your start and end at the same point , the displacement is zero. Afterall, a human's life is nothing but a vacuous dot. These vacuous dots, however are like black holes. They are infinitesimally small dots with infinite density in an immeasurable universe. Nothing, yet everything...