Hilarious

The heights! :-)

Rain...

It was raining for a few days now. He vehemently hated the rain, even worse he hated driving in it. It was all splishy splashy, roads all muddy and the air muggy. Yes, he really hated the rain. He waited in the restaurant for the rain to subside and started driving back home. All the water had made his shoes squeak against the clutch and brake pedals,  adding to his annoyance. The damn rain started again just as he entered the freeway. Visibility was low and he turned on the fog lights and reduced his speed a bit. He kept his eyes peeled to get an ounce of extra visibility. Thats when he spotted the black BMW in his  rear view mirror. The car was following him too close and just when he though it was going to hit him, the driver weaved out of the lane and did some lane acrobatics totally unwarranted on a perfect day- leave alone on a rainy day. His anger rose faster than the mercury on a hot day. Just as the car pulled past him, he saw that the other driver was very young- probably a teenager, hair brushed stiff, probably with the support of a few dozen ounces of gel. His irritation increased, he thought to himself, probably the kid wears his trousers low as is the vogue among a lot of the kids these days. No, he himself was not really old, just middle aged. But the thought of the trousers sitting low below the hip and the bottom end of the trousers all bunched up over the shoes, annoyed him more. What's the whole point of wearing a trouser if you can't cover your butt, he said aloud to nobody in particular.

He saw the BMW start to weave again, this time to take an exit. Whoa! he was going way too fast and he knew that particular exit; it had a very steep turn. "Slow down you A$$!($%#" he shouted and startled himself with the loudness and bitterness of his own voice. Was that thunder? No, he didn't see any lightning. He rubbernecked and preened towards the exit. The car was flattened against the side rails and smoke was coming out. He deserves that, he thought to himself. That was just plain stupid, he clarified to himself; "A BMW doesn't defy the laws of physics". He told himself that if the kid was seriously injured, that would make him learn. "Yeah, can't teach them logic, gotta let evolution weed out the idiots". 

He drove carefully into his garage, got out and as he tenderly carried his infant son out of the rear facing car seat, he couldn't help but think that in a couple of decades his  baby would be that other kid's age. He would probably drive his car way too fast too.  "I hope nothing serious happend to that boy", he abruptly told himself.

PS: This is a work of fiction. No such accident happened and 'He' is not the author or anybody that the author knows.

PPS: Yes, the style is a blatant ripoff from jikku.blogspot.com

There was a group called 'Pessimism'
They used a term: 'deadlines'.

There was another group called 'Optimism'
They used these terms: achieve-lines or goal-lines.

Guess the happier group (there is something in a name don't you think?!)

Deadlines sound so ominous for something you are trying to achieve in a regular work-day.

Krishnaa....Guruvayoorappaaaaa

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell
his mother what he wanted.

Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.

Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday.

Little Bobby, of course, thought he did.

Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last
year. Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this
year. Then write a letter to Krishna and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.

Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write
Krishna a letter.

**************

Letter 1

Dear Krishna,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday.

I want a red one.

Your friend,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year. So he tore up the letter and started over.

**************

Letter 2

Dear Krishna,

This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I
would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.

Your friend,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.

**************

Letter 3

Dear Krishna,

I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for
my birthday.

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to krishna either. So, Bobby
wrote a fourth letter.

**************

Letter 4

Krishna,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you,

Bobby

**************

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him
a bike.

Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he
wanted to go to temple.

Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
Just be home in time for dinner, Bobby's mother told him. Bobby walked down the street to the temple on the corner. Little Bobby went into the temple and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Radha.He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the temple, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.

Bobby began to write his letter to Krishna.

**************

Letter 5

Krishna,

I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR GIRLFRIEND. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!!!!!!

Haile Gebrselassie, inspiration and a movie

Considered one of the greatest long distance runners and the current marathon world record holder at Berlin 2007, with a finish time of 2:04:26

Here is the last few minutes of the finish.



A CNN clip of him



And while we are talking about running- An inspirational video of the New York City Marathon



And for those of you who have been sufficiently inspired, there is an Indie movie releasing tomorrow (hopefully in a theatre near you)- The spirit of the marathon.
http://www.marathonmovie.com/home.html

What is a widget?

A widget is an application you can easily stick to your own blog page - it is a small window that has been programmed to show you what you want. Check out the Dilbert widget on my blog. The dilbert widget is free for downloading now, and is available in various sizes from http://widget.dilbert.com/


How cool is that?!

Is it really Random?

Most of you know about the perils that I went through on my return journey to SFO from BLR. I have logged it in my personal blog. When I was clearing security check at Washington, I was one of the privileged few to get into a special line.HOORAY !! Feels good to be important, huh? I was told that the selection is random. Is it really random ? Did you know that it is actually the airline that chooses these random people and not the security folks. So, its not your face. Even if you are pretty and seductive, you can still get special treatment.It might work at Customs and Immigration Check though.

My sister who travels a lot is so accustomed to the screening that she enters with wide open arms into the security check ( pun intended!) . She gave me this little tidbit on how to find out if you will be considered a security hazard. Look for “SSSS” in your boarding pass, which translates to a special line with special treatment. Does it stand for Souls requiring Special Security Screening?. No, it is actually Secondary Security Screening Selection.Is the process really random? In my line, most of us were traveling alone, but again there was a family from Ethiopia in front of me. There was a spanish lady with two kids.I would like to believe it is random, but it feels discriminatory if the same people get selected most of the times like my sister. Wikipedia has some answers to these questions. Check this link. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secondary_Security_Screening_Selection

Stock market 101 (Found it interesting so cut & pasted it here)

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for $50.”

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings to buy the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!

Ramblings

What happens when the world around you comes to a complete stop? What happens when you experience the ultimate shutdown? What happens when you never wake up from your sleep? What happens when you exchange the labels for east and west? What happens when you change your definition of time? What happens when alphabets and numbers end up as being meaningless? What happens when money becomes worthless?

Strange questions, but do we ever think about these events? Enter the world of extreme counterfactuals. Our life revolves around assumptions. We say that there are only 24 hours in the day. Does that always have to be the case. All it requires is changing an assumption on the time scale, converting every half hour to the equivalent of an hour resulting in 48 hour days. Is it worth the trouble? Thats a completely different question, which I dont want to get into here.

Alrighty folks! I'm out of my mind, thoroughly bored and disillusioned. So pardon my ramblings.

[All right Mano. Here is the opportunity you have been waiting for :-)]

D-Day

What day is called the D-Day? Any guesses??? If your answer is June 6, 1944 and the commencement of the Battle of Normandy, a key turning point in the second world war; think again. You just blew away a million dollars worth of prize money! D-Day is January 7th. It has the unique record of having the maximum number of divorces filed in the United States. The pattern seems to repeat every year.

Well Children's day, Valentine's day, Independence day blah blah...but Divorce-Day????? Imagine getting booted out of your house in the middle of January (its worse as u head north). Imagine getting divorce papers as I prepare to watch the super bowl or the BCS title game (hmm for all u guys interested in pulling my leg...i agree OSU lost again but we will be back next year...same day different place though). It is interesting that the day when most divorce cases are filed happens to be early January. One would expect the Christmas season to be filled with joy, but evidence suggests that this is not the case for several people. getting booted out of one's home in the middle of January can be painful.

Hmm..so much for a new year resolution or HAPPY HOLIDAYS...lol

Passage to India

We had some bad tasting expensive food last weekend. After that meal I started thinking about the positive food experiences I had in unexpected places/times at hotels(Restaurants) in India. and here are few picks.

For most part of 1980s, on the first of every other month, my brother & I were told to be ready for a eating out extravaganza (luxury for middle-class). Our family will march past the small hotels nearby to catch a bus and eat in similar small hotel 2 KM away. After careful consideration I always choose Chola poori. (I am sure there is a sub-consicious link between me always ordering Grand Cappuccino in SB every time). I don't remember the taste of the food but I think the good memories it brings makes it worth mentioning here.

Fast forward many years, we reach the college life. This is pre-pizza days and cost certainly a key part of eating out equation. With that, Rajam mess Dosa with (what I believed as vegetarian) chalna competes with kay yendhi bhavan tiffins in Erode. Rajam mess takes the first place because of its ambience and experience it provided. :)
Dosas were crisp and home-dosa size for 2 Rs a piece (10Rs will come close to filling your stomach). Mindframes also had an honor to be the customer of Rajam mess and he can add his bit. Beers can be custom ordered and just-in-time purchase process was used by the owners. Another blog is begging to be written about my the evenings after I "drank" beer.

Things turned differently when I landed in Calcutta for a job. Money was not a problem but time was. I end up finding a small (an understatement) hotel. It takes some highly trained architect to fit a kitchen + 3 tables/chairs and a place to wash hands in that 8x8 room. The word hygienic is not in that owner's dictionary. But with that cost and taste nobody complained. It is one of the best rotis, sabji & aachar I had so far. It didn't hurt that there was a girls college right next to that shop

Some other places that come to mind are,
- Steamy hot chawal & dal in Darjeeling after sitting through 23 hours in a bus, stands out for its timing.
- Fast food breakfast in BTM layout Bangalore standout for its taste.
- Dhaba with rope beds and confusable waiter boy worth a special mention too.

I am getting hungry. So long about the food.

P.S: The place we visited was Passage to India in Mountain view.

Teaser

100 people board a bus. Passengers include Men, Women and Children (note that there is at least 1 man/woman/child). Each passenger is entitled to cakes. Each man gets 10 cakes, each woman gets 3 cakes and each child gets 1/2 a cake (these are not minimums but absolutes). Total available cakes equals 100.

Find the breakdown of men, women and children who boarded the bus.

(Working out an analytical solution is preferred)

News this week - An Addendum

Readers who have read the news report from our correspondent Mad Max, may be led into thinking that these incidents are isolated to the San Francisco Bay area. While superficially that seems to be true, the news report itself is an indication of an overall pattern of deviation from normalcy. 

A quick scan through the archives of this esteemed blog would reveal one singular subject of Mad Max's blogging efforts- Game Theory. Brainwaves was contacted by Aliens and he wrote about them; Saumya- forgot the names of her friends and Mad Max wrote two news reports that did not have Game Theory as the theme.

Stay tuned for more late breaking news.

News this Week

Hello and Welcome back to this week's episode of "All that you can Think"

Just as an earthquake can generate a potentially devastating tsunami, alien attacks are no different. Proof for this is evident from the behavioral tsunami that is lashing the Bay area as we speak. Two weeks after the alleged attack on brainwaves, the situation on the ground is far from normal. While seismic activity from brainwaves has certainly deteriorated and come to a near standstill, the after effects are lingering. At least one person closely associated with brainwaves has been reportedly suffering from a mild version of "dissociative identity disorder".

Considering the relative closeness in time between the two events, it is hard to assume that they are independent of each other. People with dissociative identity disorder may not be able to recall things that they have done or persons that they have met or account for changes in behavior. Sources in the bay area indicate that the situation is tense. Speculation is rife among friends and local residents as to the cause and effect. Law enforcement agencies have expressed concern, as the subject has openly acknowledged the presence of the disorder through a blog. Experts suggest that the blog is indicative of a highly agitated state of mind and can prove to be dangerous. Agencies also reported that they will be monitoring the situation 24/7. It remains to be seen if the subject poses a threat to the society at large?

As we sift through the debris from the alien attack several questions remain unanswered. Did brainwaves influence such behavior? Has brainwaves returned back to normalcy? Do we have a modern Dr. Jekyll prowling in the city? What is the role played by two nameless nerds codenamed "Mano" and "Mindframes" in this entire fiasco? Will we ever see a return to normalcy? If you have answers to these questions, please feel free to write to us at "All that you can think"

Reporting for "All that you can think" - Mad Max
(PS: The name of the subject is withheld in accordance with privacy laws)

"Hey! How are you?" I hear a genuinely surprised voice. A familiar face comes into focus, and my bleary mind finally places the face as one of the commuters I used to see everyday on the public transit. I remember talking to her once or twice, but the details of the conversations are blotched out. Gone. Erased. Clean slate.

My expression has turned from a dazed one into a smile that shows vague recognition, as I reply - "Good...how are you? I haven't see you in a long time!"

I can feel my nerves rattle like a toy held over the head of a giggling 4 month old, as she remembers how far my workspot is from the transit terminal, the name of my office, and even my daughter. She fondly asks after my daughter, and I am still trying to get her name! How I wish my brain had a search functionality that could access archived areas of the "past" database.

I remember she has children, and ask vague questions about their well-being. I hope she doesn't sense my desperation, but I am sure she does. I hastily take leave, still wracking my brain. It starts with an 'N' - I start down the path of listing all the names I know starting with 'N' and cross them out with plausible explanations. I know this will nag me till the next time a similar incident happens, and I start out with another alphabet.

I read somewhere that names can be remembered if you wish to remember it. But here is the thing: I seldom ask anyone's name with the intention of not remembering it.

I want to remember it, I can't. Any pointers to help me would be greatly appreciated.

Inevitable or Fluid?

Is Obama inevitable? The results from the Iowa caucus is out and Obama wins! So what next? The process leading to the nomination of the presidential candidate is interesting from the perspective of decision making. The question to ask is what is the impact of the Iowa caucus on the rest of the primaries/caucuses?

Essentially the Iowa caucus sends a signal to the voters in other states. Consider that you are really bored at home and are faced with two options. You can either go for a music concert or a basketball game. You have limited information on either and hence ex-ante, do not have a preference. Both events are held at a common place (of course in two wings of a huge complex) and hence tickets are sold at the same place. There are 50 people ahead of you and you find that 40 choose to go to the music concert. Since the majority choose the music concert, your choice is concert over game. This is what is referred to as the theory of "information cascades". Essentially the argument is that individuals make decisions based on observed behavior of others and tend to ignore their own personal preferences/information in the process. Information cascades have been used to explain events such as financial contagion, market crashes etc.

How does the Iowa caucus create cascades? The argument is, since it is the first caucus and gives the earliest possible indicator of a candidate's standing, voters in other states, who do not have a particular preference or information to decide on their candidate might choose to follow the voters in Iowa. The Iowa caucus and New Hampshire primary are considered to sow the seeds of a potential cascade. Traditionally, the challengers/incumbents spend considerable resources in Iowa and New Hampshire to ensure an early advantage. Their actions tell us that they believe in the cascade theory. Why should this be the case? Can the information cascade be avoided? If the primary reason why the cascade affects likelihood of being elected is information, then why not spend time evenly on other states increasing the level of information and knowledge of those voters. Given that more information will lead them to making the right choices, the cascade will not be effective which is optimal.

Another option which can help prevent cascades is to hold primaries/caucuses simultaneously. Now potential voters do not have access to information regarding how voters in other states behave. The worry of a building cascade is probably lower in the year 2008 because of the projected super Tuesday effect. "...February 5, 2008, looks set to be a decisive date, one month before the traditional Super Tuesday, as up to twenty states, with half of the population of the United States among them, are moving to hold their primaries on what is being called Tsunami Tuesday, National Presidential Primary Day, Giga Tuesday, The Unofficial National Primary or Super Duper Tuesday..." Source: Wikipedia

This might prevent a cascade effect from playing an important part. But the Iowa and New Hampshire effect might be pervasive and cannot be ignored. Well, with one out of the way and the next one just down the road, all eyes are focused on New Hampshire. Will Clinton rock Obama's boat? This is a million dollar question!

Are we waiting for the inevitable or is the situation fluid? Wild/informed/analytical guesses are welcome!

Market Dynamics

As a side effect of working for a start-up, I have lost track of paying closer attention to the stock market. Ofcourse, my daily ritual of glancing at the yahoo-finance-portfolio list (created a decade back) still goes on. I was watching this movie "Vitus" where this prodigy kid makes a lot of money in stock-market. It is a pretty good movie to watch, not much for the stock market part though, but for the musical scores. It has very amazing pieces and I like watching movies about genius kids, however fairy-taleish it is. Anyway, that created some interest to look at the stock market. And, the bad news is that, technology sector isn't doing very well...:(.. Well, it is not totally bad. But, the sub-prime fiasco and energy pricing coupled with weakening dollar, all have an effect which tends to push things to the negative side. Energy and Agriculture sector remained highly profitable last year and is expected to grow next year too.

With the oil price hovering over $100 a barrel, what is the implication? With the US dollar weakening, gold is a definite bet (would have been a great bet if you had bought some last year...procrastinating husbands and "contented" wives have been hit badly..:)). In developing countries like India, the inflation is surging beyond control and gold is definitely a great insurance to safeguard the value of money. Gold has rose to 867.9, compared to about 650 per ounce a year ago. Also, asian countries like India and China have started consuming more energy which keeps the demand for oil higher than ever. With oil price surging, alternative fuels which laid in the borderline cost is surging. Corn based ethanol production is becoming more popular. So, corn production is soaring. Not only that, the corn production is competing with other agricultural products too. More and more agricultural lands are used to grown corn than other agricultural products... After 50 yrs of tinkering with nuclear energy, I wonder why it is not ready for primetime...Is it the dirty politicians or the oil and gas companies or both?

With more money getting into the pockets of developing countries, the other obvious side effect is that food consumption has increased, which would mean both meat and vegetarian food. Do you know that 34% of the grains grown throughout the world feeds livestock to produce meat? And, the meat consumption has nearly tripled over the past 30 years. With the recent economic boom in asia, it has triggered major crisis for food manufacturers. This would mean that agriculture will be in great demand in the coming years. If agriculture has to thrive, the other industries like fertilizers and machinery for agriculture like tractor manufacturers will see a big demand as well. So, watch out for these sectors. It still isn't late to get into the game. As I always say, technology sector is a multi-sided sword. The competition in the consumer market is almost perfectly elastic that the margin gets shot down constantly. Look at the major products... Processors or Memories or Networking Routers or Display technologies. The trend has been that, we get more integration and performance at reduced cost. Imagine buying a 1GHz processor 5 years back versus now or a DVD player or a digital camera (comparable) or a HDTV...Prices have slashed down.. On one hand, this brings an organic demise to the margins. While this being the case for hardware, the software side doesn't paint a very rosy picture as well. Open source community is getting more and more stronger and sees wide spread adoption. The freeware applications are getting more and more robust. Companies like google love to give out stuff for free to attract more subscribers to their advertisement umbrella. Well, that's a topic for a different blog. Just thought of presenting a snapshot of the market dynamics that gravitated my attention...Any thoughts...