I cant think of a title

This blog was prompted by comments from Mindframes and Survivor on the blog by Mano related to the recent marathon. Mindframes states that "the real value can only be perceived by a runner". Survivor counters "any one can understand shaving off time...need not be runners alone". This stream of conversation is interesting because there seems to be some tension (in the sense that each statement has its merits) between the arguments.

I found this stream of thought very interesting. For instance there is lot of talk about professor's sitting in the ivory tower and creating theories out of thin air without ever having any work experience in the "real" world. Hmm...Now lets think about this. Imagine you are a biologist working with say Apes. Is it a requirement that you live like or socialize with an Ape to get an understanding about its behavior?

Surely no! I agree that it is difficult to have any understanding about the animal if you have never been closer than 100 feet to an Ape. But if we have observational data say collected by a zoo keeper, we can always run a few regressions and claim that here are some empirical regularities. Hence, not living or being near the ape does not mean one cannot draw valid inferences but the real question is does this suffice? Not really! Data can only tell you as much. The critical aspect is, sometimes what we miss is intuition and feel for the problem on hand. This leads to to mechanical use of tools which may or may not be relevant. The only solution in my view is that it is essential to mingle once in a while with the Ape to get a feel for what it really is. Essentially this is what biologists tend to do (or so I believe).

In that context, there is merit in both arguments.

Is it just Meat?

I have always been a believer in mind over matter. But, when people suggest that you can control your body, where do you draw the line? How do you define "you" and "your body" ? I am not talking about souls etc...which is more spiritual.

We all believe that the love of a mother is full of feelings which surpasses most of the other categories of love. For some lizards, where the neocortex is not fully developed, the young ones have to start defending themselves from birth for fear of cannibalism .Yes, their mothers can eat them. For humans, these are very well developed as we are supposedly somewhere in the top of the evolution chain,and so we can feel these emotions. Now, what was mind again? If we did not have a well developed brain, we may not have any emotions after all.

Taking it one step further, there is a region of the brain called the Amygdala , which stores memories of the emotional events occuring in our life. If you think you can never forget what someone did to you, blame it on the amygdala. Sometimes, amygdala can even hijack your neo cortex ( the thinking part)and make you too emotional.

If you think - Brain
If you walk,talk (motor control) - Brain ( neocortex)
If you feel - Brain (amygdala)
If you cry - Brain (amygdala)
If you feel like writing a blog - (amygdala) (For Mindframes, this function is stored as a memory in the amygdala :-)
If you love - Brain
If you feel paranoid - blame it on a parasite
** Recent research suggests that parasites, in particular toxoplasma, form cysts in the brain, often taking up residence in the amygdala. This may provide clues as to how specific parasites manipulate behavior and may contribute to the development of disorders, including paranoia.**

Coming back to my original question, what am I controlling ? My brain seems to be doing everything....So, do I categorize my brain as "I" or "Part of My Body" . To me, everything finally seems to be just meat. And my mind seems related to how well my brain has developed.!!!!

Happy Diwali!

The legend goes that Diwali is celebrated to honour the return of Rama with his wife Sita (after vanquishing Ravana) to Ayodhya. The legend also states that Rama after vanquishing Ravana refused to take Sita back as his wife, and she was upset and cleansed herself in fire, emerging unscathed to prove she was pure. Evidently when they got back to Ayodhya, they weren't on the best of the terms. We celebrate Diwali anyway.

Another legend goes that Sita gave birth to 2 sons Lava and Kusha, and something happened in the form of a row, and Mother Earth swallowed Sita yet again.

As a human race, we never tend to speak evil of the dead. I can well imagine how Rama became Lord Rama over time, giving us yet another excuse to eat and make merry.

Well ... I don't know how or when Diwali celebrationa started. I do know that it was one of my favourite festivals. I grew up in a residential school, and most holidays were not declared holidays in our school. Diwali was. (Well...what would you do with 750 children on campus if there were declared holidays for Mahaveer Jayanthi etc? ) It was also one of the opportunities to wear new clothes, and attend the Diwali puja in School. 10th and 12th grade students wore sarees and dhotis, and I can't tell you how wonderful the whole scene looked.

Diwali is here again. Celebrations have been pushed to the week-end for those of us who don't have declared holidays on Diwali.

Happy Diwali Folks!

San Jose Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon- The best party this side of town

Summer this year, I ran my longest training run for the San Fran marathon, the day before my son was born. I ran the second longest training run the week after we all came home from the hospital. Yes, it was a heady time and I had lots of fun running and completing the San Francisco Marathon on June 29th. Most importantly, I ran and completed sans injury- a record breaking first. Efforts at researching biomechanics were paying off finally. As a matter of fact, I ran almost 10 miles the week after the marathon. Compared to weeks of no walking after my prior marathons, this was definitely a big win and I was euphoric. I had to up the ante.

Sriks and Suresh were talking about the San Jose Rock 'n' Roll 0.5 marathon as their next run. I got drawn in and with the slight high that the confidence of finishing a marathon well, induces, I decided to set a goal for myself that would have me run a minute faster every mile (as compared to the prev year). Another major motivation, my parents were going to visit us and would be able to stand at the finish line.

Thrilled would be too unenthusiastic a word. I trained with enormous gusto and slowly my speed improved... but not enough to run 13.1 miles at a pace that would bring my average time to 1 minute/mile faster than the previous year. It constantly chewed on my mind as I wrestled with time and my own limitations.

D-Day minus one came and I picked up my folks, brought them home, went to the expo etc., etc. My friends from Southern California planned their trip to coincide with the half marathon. The house was lively with people and I was the only one rather silent. My longest training run of 11 miles was not fast enough to give me my desired race goal speed. In my usual style I had already announced to the better part of the world my intended goal time. Big dinner (read carb loading). Butterflies in stomach galore. Fitful night's sleep though.

Drive to San Jose downtown was uneventful. The usual jovial bantering between me, Sriks and Suresh. Jabs here and jabs there- we were enjoying the empty stomach (at least mine) and nervous laughters. Race line was long (about 15000 runners I think). Above mentioned butterflies turned out to be a rather persistent stomach upset. With 20 minutes to go for 7am (gun start), I head for the porta potty's and inch up to them in a rather longish line. As I finish the necessary things, I hear the gun go. Damn- I'm late again. I run out of the porta potty, much like a bat out of hell and run up the lines to find my pace group. I choose the long side of the line to try to enter- its all chained up. In my hurry, I don't notice and run right up to the start line only to discover that I can't joint the throngs of avid runners. All entrances this side are blocked and my only option is to run back to the end of the runners (a quarter mile back) and come up the other side. Damn and I'm already panting from the full sprint I gave. Eventually I join the sea of runners and slowly inch my way forward and finally hit the starting line.

My immediate task for the next few miles is to run fast and catch up with my pace group. I dodge the initially concentrated group of runners as I try to maintain a faster than usual pace. My face turns red with the effort.

Aside from my minor fiasco at the start line, here is the deal with the 0.5 marathon. Its a rock 'n' roll marathon--- dig? Every 2 miles (or so) has a band playing rock music. Surrounding that area, usually, there are a whole lot of really juiced up spectators. Yes, its like a party every bit of the way.

Mile 4, I cross Sriks and ask him if he saw my pace group go by. Sad to hear that, yes, it went past a few minutes back. That would require me to run much too fast to catch up- and I won't be able to muster that. I fall back to backup plan-- try to maintain my goal pace myself. Sounds easy- probably is easy- but I struggle a bit.

Every rock band rocked and the people rocked harder- I started to really draw their energy and was actually enjoying myself as we moved on. San Pedro square was an absolute riot. The spectators made us runners feel like olympic stars. We really got a hero's welcome as we passed that spot.

Mile 10, I'm a little behind my goal pace and I decide I can't afford to stop for water any more. So I pass up the chance and move fwd. Mile 12., redemption time- Last year at this point, a minor upslope had me all fatigued out and I had broken up into a walk. This time around, I power ran thro'..... yippeeeee. It felt great

Finish line was somewhere nearby, I couldn't see it, but I could definitely hear it. A distinct unmistakeable roar, that only 1000's of spectators can generate. I crank up my speed- I want to show off to my parents my new found fitness. I see the finish line and the density of spectators on either side catches my unprepared. There are just too many people and all I hear is a roar. The sound is enough to get me to sprint hard and I finish with my tongue hanging out in fatigue. I notice I didn't meet my goal time.

A little dejected at that., but on the other hand I realised I had a really good time running. I told myself I had pushed myself hard and at the end of the day thats what really matters. Putting on a smile, I walked on thro' to meet the home crowd. The usual congrats done and my thank you's done to people for coming, I have a sudden inkling of a doubt. The finish time I saw was my gun time. I still didn't know my chip time. Enter Shoba and her really cool iPhone. Suresh logs in to the race website for live results. Tense moments pass by (at least for me) and yes the pigeons can be set free. I come just within my goal time. I almost felt like jumping up and down till I dropped.

As we drive home, I realize that although I'm ecstatic at finishing what I had started in the way I had wanted. For that few moments when I thought I had not finished within my goal time, I was still very happy. Because all that matters at the end of the day is that for some strange reason, we runners enjoy the simple act of putting one foot in front of the other, over and over. For some really strange reason, that gives me so much joy.

Circle of life

Me-t-1: I love Rajini movies. I whistle because it is fun and people around me are whistling too. Awesome thalaivar
Me-t0: How shameless this whole tamil movie industry is? Some oldie is running around the tree with girl.
Look at Hollywood, they are awesome, Reasonable.
Me-t+1: Hey what is not to like about Rajini movies? It is cult classic in the same mould as star wars. Why should
entertainment be intellectual? Hollywood is just a glorified Bollywood

This is just one of the thought processes. Almost every aspect of life my thoughts go through this cycle. Accepting something at one level and going to other end (or different view point) and swinging back to the old view point OR aligning with the old view point with different rationalization.

Another good example is cultural values (esp. Indian values). Treating Indian values as the greatest thing long back (and bashing "floating" American values) and standing by American individualistic values for a period of time and rethinking whether family ties (group) may be better for my way of life etc.

With every transition back to older (almost opposite) view point, even with proper rationalization, it feels like a hypo critic thing to do. But still I do it.

May be maturing is nothing but finding this multi layer nature of life!