Sunday, March 30, 2008

The hair and the blade

I see the way my son, who is all of 9 months old, watch mesmerized when I shave and it takes me back down memory lane. My earliest memory of seeing anybody shave was probably class 4. But it wasn't until class 9 that I decided to put the blade to the skin (so to speak). No, it wasn't to my non-existent beard-- It was to my eyebrows. 


You see, I have always hated that my eyebrows join in the middle. It just took me a very long time to realize that, thats also hair that can be shaved. So I snuck into my parents bathroom, took my dads razor blade (about 2.5 inches wide). Centered it with extreme concentration and gave it a nice pull along the center of my eyebrows. Voila!! it was off.... except it took 2.5 inches of eyebrows with it. Which made me, for lack of a better way to put it, look like Captain Spock, from Star Trek that used to Air in DoorDarshan in 1986.

This was during my 9th exams (mock public exams as they used to call it). So my mom had to paint my incomplete eyebrows with whatever black believable eyebrow colored stuff she had and sometimes that meant cosmetics :). Yes, I said it. I used cosmetics. So there!!!

My fascination with the razor (btw, razor, unlike what I used to think is not the blade- but its holder) and its blade never stopped. I was fascinated by the barber shaving his clients next to me, while all I got was a measly haircut. I would see the men sitting next to me, with their eyes closed and their face like birthday cakes-- piled up with cream. In my early childhood,  the barbers used to use straight edged razors (without disposable blades). So between each shave, I  would see him artfully strop his blade on a leather strop. Ah!! the sound that made was magic.. mingling with the singular song on his radio. Singular, because I haven't heard that machine spew out any other song... it was one tune on an infinite loop. I can still hear the melody.

When my first facial hair sprouted, I declared at home that I needed a haircut. Which raised one to many eyebrows- afterall I hated haircuts and such promptness was to be looked at with suspicion. I walked proudly to the neighborhood barber, waited my turn, and plonked myself rather proudly on the seat and declared I needed a 'Shave' and a 'Haircut'. 

The particular barber in question, an arrogant son of a gun, who has probably seen my since I was an inch high, declared with a lot of amusement that a Haircut was easy, but to 'Shave', I needed facial hair. A slap in the face, nonetheless, without missing a beat, I said I had changed my mind and I needed only a haircut.

A year went by, before I stole my Dad's razor and a new twin blade and shaved for the first time. When I came out, I think I really felt like Clint Eastwood swaggering out of a saloon after a Pint of beer. Nevertheless, I felt I had finally joined the Men's club. With at most casualness in my voice, I warned him- the blade in the right side of the cabinet is mine and the one on the left was his. My dad, one not to be easily perturbed, didn't look up from his newspaper.. as he acknowledged. I'm sure he was tickled pink.

Many a years later, I saw my friend shave with a double edge razor (A' La topaz blade). By now I was using Gillette's triple blade system or something and was kind of getting disillusioned with the whole thing. Shaving had become a drag.. something one really drags against their skin. 

I tried the old shaving methods of brush, cream and regular blades. It was refreshing. I went a step further and bought myself a regular shaving knife, saved for the weekends. As I strop it on a sunday morning, with steaming hot water running down the wash basin and the smell of my shaving cream wafts from my brush. For a moment, I'm transported to that Barber shop in T.Nagar, who refused me my first shave. Aaaah nostalgia, I can still hear that singular tune blaring in his radio......

Monday, March 24, 2008

Another poem from PROF

43. Is it yours....

Why do you cling,
to everything, as if,
you created something out
of nothing, in defiance of the
universal law;
Why do you make an
exclusive property,
of not just things, but
people and emotions too;

Can you just tell me,
one being who brought
Something along before the
first cry; or at least one
who took something along,
at the last breath;

This sun, moon, breeze,
stars, space and time
Is it yours exclusively
to mix and match?
If only you see the truth
and let go of the ghosts
instead of wrapping yourself
like a touch-me-not
to enclose your small world,
you will see the world
without a blindfold!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

One of the best

hello folks...here is an off beat video...well this is one of the best live rock performances i have seen...especially with the vocalist...it is sooooooooooooooooooo close to the original and the way he gets the crowd involved is amazing...this song really kicks up the adrenaline level..even if one is not a big fan of thrash metal, i would say it is worth a watch just for the atmosphere (maybe just the intro part till about 1 minute into the song)...well if not for the present, this was certainly my first choice profession....N'Joy

Monday, March 10, 2008

New Meanings for words

These are the winners from Washington Post.

Coffee: the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted: appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Abdicate: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Esplanade: to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly: impotent.

Negligent: absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

Lymph: to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle: olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence: emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline

Testicle: a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude: the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

Pokemon: a Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster: a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

Frisbeetarianism: the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Circumvent: an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

A Short Story

She: "There was a Do Not Cross police tape around the compound of the house in the street thats just around the corner. Lets check crimereports.com" 

He was getting worried as he surfaced from the newspaper that he was reading. 
He:"Nothing in the news"
She: "Come and look at this. It says forcible sexual assault".
He doubled over and peered into the laptop.
He: "You should keep the security alarm ON all day, when you are at home."
She agreed.
She: There is no mention of it any news though. Something is funny.
She had a comforting thought, "maybe it was not an intruder. Could be abuse by somebody living in the same house".

Random Thoughts

Selectivity on price is more of a concern when we go to the mall as against a movie theater. Consider the case of shopping at a Gucci store in the mall. We know that the price paid for a comparable product in another store is probably far lower. Why is this so? Gucci charges its customers for the Brand, more expensive labor, raw materials blah blah. Effectively the total cost of production (includes all intangibles like brand) is higher for Gucci as compared to other more reasonable brands and hence the price charged is also higher. This is a simple example of cost plus pricing, where products are priced at some margin about the cost of production. Same can be attributable to so many other things. But still the market exists. Now the question is the counterfactual. Does this type of market every fail?

The answer seems to be YES! Consider going to the movie theater as an experience. The cost of the movie has no impact on the price paid. Be it a movie shot on a shoestring budget or be it a multi million dollar budget, the price paid is the same (there seems to be no evidence of cost plus pricing). I have been wondering about this for a while but I cant think of a reason. Any thoughts?

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Whining through Vineyards - Napa Valley Marathon Experience


After my big-sur(ge) last year, I got a renewed enthusiasm for running. Apart from the 2 months following big-sur run, during which I logged in onlyabout 15-20 miles, I averaged a decent mileage throughout the year. Though I didnt fulfil my dream of running 2 marathons last year, I ended the year with a total mileage of 1130 peaking at 188 miles last December (courtesy: Shoba was in India in December..:))... I did complete the san jose rock-n-roll 1/2 marathon in october. I decided to run a marathon early this year since I had logged a lot of miles during the end of last year. I had the choice of picking between big-sur and napa-valley. I chose to pick napa-valley since the course was simpler and I thought I could better my time doing it...;)

I was very happy with my training this time. I logged in a lot of 15+ milers and two 10 milers per week during the peak training which made my long runs easier and faster. I tried the san-francisco half marathon to get a morale boost and it most definitely did. I did 1:48:20 (official) though I had to convince everyone that I started atleast 1.5-2 minutes before I crossed the start line and there was no chip timing. So, I think I did something in 1:46ish range which, in my dictionary is an unbelievable run for me. This is where I guess, I got my cockiness to do fast runs. After the half-marathon run, I tried to do all my training runs at around 8min/mile pace. I even did my 20 mile long run in 2:49... Anyway, I was all set, both physically and mentally for the marathon day.


Shoba and I booked a room in an Inn in calistoga. The other option was to stay in Napa and get a shuttle at 5:00AM in the morning to calistoga (starting point). But, I hate to get up early and I figured that staying closer to the start line is the way to go. We arrived in Napa to pick up the BIBson Saturday. I attended a session where a bunch of elite runners talked about the course and how to "conquer" it. One of the runners was Dean Karnazes, whom, as I've mentioned before is the crazy ultra marathon dude. He ran overnight from san-francisco to napa enroute to calistoga so that he could run the marathon and then run back to san-francisco, totalling about 189 miles over 2 days... He recommended running a negative split, in napa. Thefirst half of napa-marathon has a lot of rolling hills, not steep ones, but a lot of small ones, much like the second half of big-sur. But, once u hit the 16mile point, it is downhill all the way except for a couple of hills at mile 20. So, Dean's point was to run a slow first-half and to run a faster during second half. Then came Dick Beardsley who is also a well known elite marathoner (olympian/boston marathon winner etc.,). He kind of disagreed with Dean. He said that everyone slows down during the end. So, he didnt believe in negative splits. Instead, he said that running the first half faster and trying to maintain the momentum as much as you can to end is the way to go... The other runners did offer some valuable inputs. The important one being, there was no chip-timing on this run. So, being near the start line is vital if you want to shave off those 1 or 2 minutes at start. Another one, which gave me a queasy feeling was that, the race was going to start at 7:00AM at which point, the temperature was supposed to be 38F and then quickly raises to 60-65 by 10:00AM. For whatever reason, I run comfortably in really cold climates. When it gets hotter, I lose momentum... So, I was a little worried. We did drive through the silverado trail from napa to calistoga (reverse of marathon course). It helped me realise how good/bad the hilly and flatter part of the course was.

Everything went as planned the night before. I went to a pasta feed organized by a bunch of inns. Dick Beardsley showed up here too and offered someinspiring stories about one of his marathon where he did 2:09. I talked to couple of runners, one, a beginner doing her first marathon and the otherdoing her second marathon. I tried to sleep early to get up early. But, the biological clock doesnt adjust so quickly. Anyway, I had a reasonably good sleep. Got up at 4:45AM and got ready... As usual, I was a little nervous about, let me just say "restroom fiascos"... But, everything cleared up and was all happy scene by 6:00AM. Shoba and I drove upto starting point by 6:20 or so. Initially, we were planning to wait inside the car since it was quite cold outside. Later, we decided against it, for better, since the actual start point was a good 5 minutes walk. Shoba joined me for the first time to the starting point. Something that she has never done during any of my previous runs. She could feel the energy. People, young and old justgeared up to face the challenge. A photographer took a picture of us, which was pretty good. I stood in line for the porta potties while shoba bid farewell...


The race was supposed to start at 7:00 with a national anthem by a veteran named John Keston. But, I guess he didnt show up. So, people were a little puzzled and looking forward for the "go" signal. Suddenly, the race started, rather uneventfully. I like the adrenaline rush from the national anthem. But, i missed it. Anyway, I started my run briskly. I wasnt breathing hard and was feeling good. I checked my time at 2 mile marker and it showed00:15 something. So, I knew I was going a little faster. But, I didnt mind much. I started winding through the rolling hills. For some reason, I wasnt running on the right side of the road and missed some mile markers. At some point during my run, when I thought I should be around 5 to 6 mile mark, I saw the 7 mile mark much to my surprise. I overheard someone saying that they were doing a 7:42 pace. I was surprised and a little shocked. I looked at my watch and it showed 0:55... I realised that I was speeding. But, I wasnt breathing hard. I had learnt the hard lesson from my first marathon that, hitting the road too fast too soon will knock you later. I intentionally tried to control my speed. Still, I noticed that I did 10 miles in 1:20... At this point, I was worried and intentionally try to slow down a little. In the meanwhile, I saw Dean Karnazes running along without company. So, I decided to join him for a little chat. Getting one on one time with one of the world class ultramarathoner while running in a marathon was one of the highlights of this marathon. He was very cordial. Soon, more people started crowding him asking more and more questions and I started movingpast him. At the 13 mile marker, my clock showed 1:46. At this point, I happily concluded that I was genuinely doing high pace and I could continue with that pace for ever. Retrospectively, one of the biggest mistakes.


Mano had told me that he would wait at 18 mile marker. My mind started wandering, let me meet him by 2:20 and then I can do 22 in 3:00 and possibly 26 by 3:35 or so. When I was in my high clouds, there was a downhill somewhere at mile 16 where I started getting signs of cramps. I slowed down a bit, but it didnt help. I was just looking for mile 18. Atlast, when I reached mile 18, I noticed that Mano wasnt there. A big "Halwa" awaited on his behalf and it was disappointing... When I was doing the 19 mile hill, I saw a bunch of folks offering beer for runners... It was pretty cool and refreshed my mind with a smile. I thought of having the beer, but then, decided against it... By this time, my cramps started worsening. My attempt to relieve it by stretching made it even worse. Anything I tried on my legs apart from the running movement resulted in more pain. My mind wandered in all directions. I even considered quitting my run. But then, I was still doing a good time. I reached 21 miles in 3:03. So, it was about doing 5 miles inless than an hour. In normal days, I do it in 42-43 minutes. Given that it was the last 5 miles of a marathon. I was sure I could pull it off in around 50 minutes. With my cramps and excruciating pain with every step, I kept continuing. It was a simple algorithm. Run my normal strides. When therewas pain, slow down and if pain continues, walk for a few seconds before starting to run again. It was also getting warmer. So, I felt the need to drink more water. I gulped a lot of GU gels too to keep my energy level going. Mile 22 at 3:15, Mile 23 at 3:26, Mile 24 at 3:35, Mile 25 at 3:46 and Mile 26.2 at 3:56.... I didnt care about the by standers, I didnt care about the scenary, I didnt care about anything but following my steps onto thefinish line. As I finished, I couldnt even spot Shoba. May be my brain wasnt completely active or that shoba was wearing her stylish cap...:)..I finished it well under my goal of 4:00 hrs. As with every run (I should probably exclude big-sur..:)), I felt that, if I had paced a little better, I could have hit 3:45-3:50 timing comfortably. Oh well, there is always something to look forward to and that is the excitement of life... I was totally exhausted after the race not just with pain and cramps, but a nauseating feeling that lasted for half an hour. Shoba didnt have any clue about my state at the beginning. But later, she started getting worried. She drove me all the way from Napa to San jose via fremont-udupi-palace where we had lunch.


As usual, there was a lot of take aways from this marathon. Nothin new, but just reinstating the basics. The important realisation about running is the mental kick that I get from battling the tradeoff between mind and body. Personally, when running, my mind usually sways between two extremes of optimism and pessimism. The balancing act is an art and is the most fun and the fun doesnt start till mile 20 and above. No wonder people call it thewall. A wall bridging mind and body, indeed... Again, pacing is an art. In this race, there were no pace teams to follow. But, running with a pace group could be highly helpful. When I was tired, I gulped myself with a lot of water, GU gel, fruit sorbet and orange slices at the aid stations, which I think was a bad mistake. It gave me a severe nausea at the end of the race. Another important take way was to not overspeed in downhills. Usually, my quads get beaten up when running hilly courses, especially downhill. For 2 days now, I still feel soarness in my quads which indicates that I did a lot of pounding during the early part of the race. For the positives, putting in a lot of long distance mileage in the training really helps overall performance. For example, three 6 milers is not equal to two 3 milers and a 12 miler. It most definitely is not. I ran atleast 5 19/20-mile runs and atleast a dozen or more of 10+ mile runs during the past few months which greatly improved my endurance and speed. I think I should try out some 22-23 mile runs in my future marathons to simulate myself with a run that gets closer to the 26.2 mile point as possible. For beginners, I think it is not recommended. But, as the time goal increases, it is probably a good idea to do 22+ mile runs during the peak training runs. I am hoping to do the sacramento marathon during December this year. I think I will end up doing the 199 mile relay race next month and may be a couple of half marathons before marching my way to the marathon this year end. I do realise that I am getting more and more closer to my peak potential... Only time will tell how much I can push further.


I think, it is good to do an all out effort to achieve the best possible outcome. But, sometimes, it is better not to do that. It is a strange "good" feeling to know that the best is yet to come... That, in nutshell, is how I feel about this marathon...

Traffic (absolutely) Rules in Delhi!

We had been to India for a glorious vacation. This time we travelled a lot apart from the customary visits to relatives. We had been to Delhi, Agra and Jaipur in the first week. During my stay in Delhi, we travelled a lot by car, and it gave me a chance to observe the traffic.
Here are some traffic rules you might find useful in Delhi.

1) When you have trouble deciding whether you want to turn right or left, switch on the emergency blinker. This will warn other vehicles on the road, that you may turn right or left, and the onus to keep safe shifts to the other vehicles on the road. I find this most helpful, since both sides blink when the emergency blinker is on.


2) Stopping at red lights is considered belittling, and your driving capabilities are scoffed at by other drivers. While driving through red lights, it is prudent to sound your horn.


3) There are atmost three signals in a radius of 25 km where you really need to stop at red lights, and any localite could enlighten you about which ones to stop at for a red light. At such signals, please do not make yourself an object of ridicule by stopping before the line. When you do stop, you need to stop almost midway through the signal - that alone gives you the power to surge ahead before the light turns green.


4) Parking is a right - you may park alongside the curb (not cool!), or in the middle of the road, sideways perferably hindering other traffic. It does not matter as long it is not a very busy road. If it is a very busy road, the only risk you run is getting shouted at more vehemently. There was a time when I found a camel drawn carriage parked sideways on the National Highway. Many times, I found lorries parked diagonally across the road, since that was the most convenient method to unload the goods at the back. Traffic found a way of needling along despite this.


5) While it is useful for the car driver to have a clear view of the road, it is more useful for the vehicle to transport as many people as possible from point A to B. I saw various instances where there were 5 adults sitting in the front seat of a car. Unfortunately, I did not have time to count the number of children. I am assuming the gear change is achieved using a complex rhythm that involves nudging the correct individuals for gear shift. Push Bunty for gear 3, pull Bablee for reverse gear etc.


6) Roads are built for the convenience of the users. Rules are an unnecessary hinderance. For example, if there is a divider on the road built with the intention of having the left side for traffic flowing east, and the other side for west flowing traffic, it does not mean that east flowing traffic has to use the left half and the west flowing traffic has to use the right half. Since the right half is more appealing, all traffic can use the right half, leaving the left half free for parking vegetable vendor carts, and chaat carts.


7) Animals on the roads are not restricted to dogs, buffaloes and cows. Camels and elephants are a common enough sight. So much so that my daughter started asking to see tigers on the road! I couldn't help laughing at her question when we showed her the Delhi zoo as we passed it. Her mind buzzed for a fraction of a second and quipped "Why?"

8) Rear view mirrors are meant to be folded in, lest they get damaged by other vehicles on the road. You can use other mechanisms such as asking folks in your car to look out, or simply turn your head in all directions everytime you want to make a turn.


A pat on the back to my brother and brother-in-law who drove us all around safely in Delhi. It is far more difficult than we imagine!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Hair Pin Twist

Consider that three leading ladies on this blog (Saumya, Meera and Survivor) all love Hair Pins. They land up at a fair and there is a contest going on. The rules of the game are as follows. On the table there are five hair pins (Three Red and Two White). The three ladies have this piece of information. Each is taken to a separate enclosure and a pin is placed on their head (note that the participant does not know which pin is assigned to them, the only information is that there are five pins, three white and two red and one was assigned). Now the three of them are placed in a line where Saumya can observe the pins on Meera and Survivor and Meera can only observe the pin on Survivor. Given this information the question is as follows. When approached first, Saumya cannot say for sure if she has a red or a white. This information is passed on to Meera but Meera also fails to answer the question. This information is passed on to Survivor and surprise surprise surprise...Survivor nails it!

Question: How could Survivor answer the question as to what color pin was assigned to her?